Practical ways to build trusting and healthy relationships

Whether we knew it at the time or not, we’ve all witnessed a lack of trust. In the workplace it can look like lack of participation in meetings, within families it can look like negativity and even distance, and in romantic relationships it can look like insecurity or lack of intimacy.

Trust is the glue that forms the basis of all healthy relationships, and it’s the oil of any conversation that engines its way to productive, honest, and empathetic communication. But how do you build it?

Practical trust is the first kind, which heavily involves your actions. It looks like showing up on time, completing your expected tasks, and performing your duties so regularly that people are confident you will do your job or hold up your end of the relationship.

Emotional trust is the second kind, which involves respect, kindness, and honesty. In the workplace, it’s what allows people to feel comfortable to share their ideas and know that their time will be respected, and in personal relationships it’s the same, as it allows honest communication and respect for others’ feelings. A lack of trust has been cited as one of the primary reasons for divorce.

Trust is fundamental

Both employees and romantic partners tend not to stay in the picture for long if they don’t feel safe and respected, and if they don’t feel confident in your dependability. Trust is essential to building healthy, lasting, productive relationships, so here are some of the best ways to foster more trust with the people in your life.

Tell the truth

It sounds simple, but most people find it much harder in practice. If you forgot to send an email, don’t lie and say you did. If you ran into an ex at a bar, tell your partner the whole truth so that it doesn’t morph into a problematic omission.

Admitting your own shortcomings will not only keep you out of trouble in case you guess the wrong answer, but it also provides an opportunity for you to learn and grow.

Giving orders or passing judgment without explanation signals a lack of trust. Being transparent with your intentions and giving reasons for your actions gives people the necessary grounds to trust you, as they can start to understand why you are the way you are.

Admit to mistakes, and improve them

If you think you’re never wrong, you’re wrong. There’s nothing more frustrating than speaking to someone who doesn’t have self-awareness and humility, two things that are essential to trust. If you’re making the same mistake several times, however, just admitting to it won’t help. When a mistake is made, be clear and specific about how you’ll approach things differently in the future.

If you say you’ll do something, do it. Canceling plans at the last minute, failing to show up on time, missing deadlines, and the like are surefire ways to indicate that you are not trustworthy, and people will not rely on you to follow through, nor will they take what you say seriously. Think before committing.

Don’t take advantage of blind spots

If you’re supposed to do something as part of your role at work, for example, but you try to shirk it off onto someone else or just get away with not doing it, even though you think people won’t notice, they’ll start to look at you like you can’t or won’t actually do your job. The same goes for relationships of all kinds. If you were supposed to do the laundry and you wait until someone else does it to throw yours in, for example, it suggests that you aren’t committed to upholding your part of the relationship.

Be helpful whenever you can

Trustworthy people tend to go out of their way to help people, not because of some agenda, but because they like to show that they are genuine in their best interests and are committed to whatever it is, be that a friendship or the goals of a company. Authentic kindness builds trust.

Be the first to extend trust

If you want people to trust you with their honesty and openness, you’ll have to show that same trust. Putting yourself out there can be scary, but offering high trust is one of the best and fastest ways to start building a healthy relationship. This can also start in small ways, however, such as giving people the benefit of the doubt.