Jeanne Benimana left her village and went to Kigali, her hopes were to get a job and support her family, at 18 years her dreams of becoming a successful person were high. She managed to get a job as housemaid and all seemed well.
Benimana was lucky that her employer Maman Grace (not her real names) loved her so much, her husband was abroad. But luck was smiling at her that even when Maman Grace’s husband came back, he considered her his little girl.
But her hopes were shattered one evening and those who looked angels before her were devils in sheep’s skin.
“One day when my matron wasn’t around and children were in boarding schools, her husband came home early from work, I had finished taking a shower, he grabbed my towel and said that if we don’t do sex that time he would fire me. He raped me,” the sobbing Benimana lamented.
“He continued to sleep with me until I got another job when I was 21. I left without saying a word and I haven’t told anyone since then until now.” She says
Leah Gasaro was 14 years when she was raped by her cousin, she didn’t know how to report the incident, and silence was her solace.
“My cousin who was 25 used to stay at our house because he was working near our house, “Gasaro who is now 20 said, “My parents would wake up early and go to jobs and return very late in the evening so I hadn’t anyone to talk to”.
Jacqueline Murekatete who lives in Rubavu district says that she would always face abuse in her home and get threatened to be thrown out of the house if she tries to speak up or file a court file.
“Most of the time my husband would return home late and drunk and beat me. I considered to leave him or divorce him and my fellow women would advise me to stay saying that it’s how they keep a home alive by forgiving your husband and forget.” said Jacqueline.
Like Benimana, Gasaro and Murekatete, most girls and women are abused and opt to remain silent which makes the numbers of Gender based violence mainly sexual violence prevalent.
Most victims of GBV say they fear reporting the culprits for fear of setbacks, shame while others do not have enough information about where they can be trusted to report the incidence.
Isange one stop center
The government in a bid to address the challenges set up the Isange one stop Centre where victims of sexual violence and other related gender based violence can report, Parents’ evening that address GBV related incidences as well as sensitize couples about Gender equality.
It is estimated that at least two in five girls (41.2%) will have experienced physical violence by the age of 15, 12 with much of the violence committed by male family members or husbands.
Legally, GBV survivors are under-protected. In fact, over half (56%) of victims do not seek help from any source, and only 7% seek help from the police.
Men face GBV
Even though Gender Based Violence affects women mostly, few cases showed that there men also encounter it and it is advised that they should speak up about it and file a case at court.
“Because I am skinny and my wife is thick, when we quarrel, she would physically abuse me. I would wake up with bruises and I would claim that I fell off a bridge or got into a fight with another man to avoid another man,” said Peter Nyandekwe.
According to research, certain characteristics may increase vulnerability to violence. For instance, social realities such as sexual orientation, disability status or ethnicity, and contextual factors such as humanitarian crises can raise the risk of violence. Men who exhibit female characteristics, or trans-women, are also more likely to experience GBV.